Online dating is it for real ?

What a hard day at the office today,cant wait to get home and relax and watch a nice movie. on getting home, I took off my shirt, kicked off my shoes, my shorts and then was about to take off my .... when I remember some randy women may be reading this and there dirty minds will be painting pictures ( ladies don't forget when u picture me make sure it's tall dark and handsome oh and yea with clothes on  ) well I was going to say take off my socks see dirty minded people, walked over to the fridge and got myself a cold drink, switched on my Laptop to see if i have gotten any mail on my facebook, then I see this fine sexy cute girl and am thinking to myself wow what a shape, I added her and much to my luck she accepted, started to pray "God you that started a good work is more then able to complete it" I typed hello and started to recite the hail mary, few mins later she replied HALLELUJAH I busted Into praise and worship " God is good, he has done me well oh my soul raise up and praise the lord" 
 i asked her name and she said sola and then we  got talking and for the next 3 hours we poured out our hearts to each other, she said she was single I said I was single, i had the best 3 hours of my life, with a promise to call her the next day after i got her number i bid her good night  , I went to bed woke up the next day and thought to myself is this for real or was it all just lies 

Most of you have been in the shoes of the guy in the story, meeting a guy/girl on Facebook or other online lobbies and wondered to your self is this real, there are many arguments to  this some in favor and some against.
It is easy for miss ugly to become miss world online, or a married man to be single, like they say you can be anything you want online even a man can become a girl, i hear some of you going that is the reason i dont date online but you need to remember it is the same with face to face dating ok ok miss ugly cant pass for miss world but she may still fool you at night in a very dark place (God knows i have been fooled twice lol)  
Like they say there are two sides to a coin, an advantage of online dating would be that you can take your time to get to know the person, find out as much as possible about the person to know if you would be interested in dating the person before you start to tear your clothes off like wild animals, the bad side of it is that it may all be lies 
While it may be difficult to know which is which, like i always say shine your eyes 
I know online dating works and i know people who have gotten married and are happy but i also know people who it has not worked for at the end of the day you just have to go into the relationship with your eyes wild open 

Long Distance Relationships

Was looking at my Face book wall and saw a friend complain about long distance relationship i felt that was a sign as to what topic i am suppose to talk about today, for some, long distance relationships have not been very good experiences and for some, it is the other way round.

The Agony and The Ecstasy... of long distance relationships. So rarely does one cliche so succinctly sum up something.

Those of us who've tried can all attest: it's haaaaaard.

There are different kinds of relationships across the miles. Such as when you meet Mr/Miss. Wonderful online either on Face book or other online avenues and he/she lives aboard. 

Or when your Mr/Miss. Wonderful has to travel out of the country either because he/she got a new job or goes to make a new start for himself/herself or maybe  to study 

Then we have a situation where Mr/Miss. Wonderful gets a better job across town and has to move and you cant go with him because you cant leave your own job 

Building a new relationship is a whole lot harder than maintaining an existing one. The easiest one to weather is the temporary shift – if you're committed to the relationship, you just have to figure out a way to survive  difficult months. But even that isn't easy , In Nigeria there is a general belief that if your partner leaves Nigeria for another country aboard that is the end of the relationship, like they say out of sight is out of mind, while i think there is an element of truth in that it does not mean all guys are like that, most guys like to think that ladies are like food you know, a bit of mash today, a bit of roast dinner, or maybe its the African meals eba with efo filled with all kinds of meat, shaki, pomo, oboku OMG my mouth they water (its looking like this blog may take longer to complete, iya risika here i come ) 

Men i enjoy oyinbo (English) meals but trust me nothing beats a nice hot spicy steaming bowl of African food, OK back to our topic, So when a guy leaves Nigeria and lands in that foreign country the guy lands in heaven i mean we talking about different women of all kinds of size and shape and colour, from women from other African countries to Asian women and Latino and whites, from small boobs to big artificial boobs wow wow wow wait sorry i meant food not women why in the world would i be talking about women in such a manner, most times it takes the grace of God and a feeling of strong love towards the lady back home for the guy not to end the relationships.
While it may seem hard many of these relationships do work below i would try and list some of the things you can do to help 

Define your terms 

 I always tell people to define there relationships that way you know your not living in we getting married soon land while he/she has a permanent address on booty call land just very close to going to suck you dry avenue.The most dangerous thing in a relationship  is assumption so its better you both sit down and define what you have and what direction its heading 

 Communicate with your Partner 

Communication is key in any relationship, and before your partner goes overseas, sit down with him/her  and list out the various way of communications – whether it’s by phone, email, instant messenger, or Skype. Conversing through a phone used to be a popular, but expensive mode of communication. With IDD rates falling, calls are becoming more affordable – there’s no excuse for missing a chat! Also, there are VOIP, instant messenger where you can view your partner through a webcam. Therefore, it’s very important to have a schedule where both of you agree to communicate. By sharing your daily happenings, it will forge a closer bond between you and your Significant Other. and the fact that he/she does not pick one call or does not pick early does not mean its the end of the world 

Trust 

This is another issue that is very important and that is the issue of trust, When insecurity and jealousy kick in, it’s really hard to keep composure. No matter how you try, you may get off balanced. There will be times in a long distance relationship when one half of the couple feels abandoned. What may seem to be normal when you were still together feels a little bit uncomfortable, such as his friendship with others. You may think he’s flirting with other women even if his intentions are harmless. You may feel insecure at times and you may even push him/her to get involved with other women. Doubt plays a big part in ruining long distance relationships, and don't let your friends spoil what you have, have heard stories about how friends have other friends who there partners have dumped and so instead of waiting to be dumped start to cheat only to miss out on what would have been an amazing relationship. 

So having long distance relationship is not as bad as people make it to seem, constant communication and trust would go a long way to make sure that the relationship stands the test of time and like they say nothing good comes easy , but that does not mean you should not shine your eyes oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh see say the oh long well well lol 

Who should be doing the wooing

 We are all used to men being the once to woo women, in some countries it really does not matter who does what, but in Nigeria its a whole different ball game, a woman asking a guy out  is a crime in short it is nothing short of an abomination, the heavens will fall and the sea's will roar, my chicken will do a double back flip (ok maybe its not as bad as i am making it to be got carried away lol) but the reality is that most times the woman is seen as cheap and often not the girl is used and dumped, As a guy i am still trying to make heads as to why that is the situation, Most guys say the man is the hunter and not the woman, that the woman is the prey and the prey should never become the hunter, most women think that if they do then they will be seen as sluts.

I love a woman who is bold enough to step up to a man and look him in the eye and tell him how she feels about him, this is the 21st century where a woman can be anything she wants to be where a woman can climb the highest mountain and sail the deepest sea, can somebody shout  hallelujah i say this is the 21st century where a woman can aspire to lead a nation, where she can be the boss and have men say yes ma to her, am i talking to somebody in the house, i want you to stand tall and walk up to that handsome good looking brother you have always fancied and had dreams about, walk up to him and tell him just how you feel about him but make sure he is a man and by a man i mean one who is matured to understand what you are doing if not you are OYO (on your own) dont say sol told you to go and ask ask a man out oh i would deny it as a fat child longs for food. 

It really does not matter who makes the first move i think what is important is  what direction the relationship  takes and its not that guys mind a girl asking them out i think it has more to do with the way the girl woo's the guy, so ladies whats stopping you get on the woo wagon and woo away (yea did i happen to mention that i am tall dark and handsome lol Yea right)